Disappointment.

There's another scandal I'd like to mention, and unlike the other headliners, this one actually SURPRISED me. But not for the reason you might think...


This whole time, I thought Justin Bieber was a girl, so when I saw a woman with a child demanding a paternity test from him, I was shocked.  SHOCKED!


And this whole time I thought they just kept misspelling Justine!

It's not lipstick, it's CHAPSTICK.

Anyway-


When I first heard about Justin's baby scandal, I immediately thought that the kid was his.  Why else would the woman ask for a paternity test?  You never hear about them wanting the test; they usually want child support and a few paparazzi sessions, but this lady wants SCIENTIFIC PROOF!


So I thought for sure she wasn't lying.  But oh, how things changed.


Justin actually agreed to take it!  That threw my entire game off.


Now her and the moronic lawyers representing her are flying low under the radar, probably to escape embarrassment.  There's clearly no other explanation.

Plenty of embarrassment escaped here.

To sum it all up, Justin(e) and Yeater (sounds like an infection, doesn't it?) should've teamed up and gone on Maury.  Not only would they have boosted the ratings for him, but I'm sure they would've made a crapload of money.  Not that Beaver doesn't already.


Final thoughts:


Both parties have truly disappointed me.  Biebhead had me thinking he was a teenage daddy, and I was expecting a promising break-up from his witchy girlfriend (Wizards of Waverly Place, and yes, I do love that show).  On the other hand, I was in Yeater's corner this whole time, only to be let down by her lack of performance.  Come on, lady!  No one will remember you in a year, but we sure as hell would if your baby was his. 




What do I have to look forward to NOW?  A scripted divorce from big-butt KK and her weirdo ex-husband? 

I'm already bored.

God help us all. 

Breaking News?

It's been awhile, and I have a lot to say.


I think I'll start with the hottest topic in the entertainment world right now, and that is Kim Kardashian's ill-fated marriage.

I'm going to love you for 72 whole days.

First of all, it's pretty obvious that no one is surprised.  Every celebrity out there will eventually separate from their spouse / significant other.  For them, marriage doesn't mean "forever," it means "until I get bored or we get into a fight."  Why then, you ask, do they get married at all?  Because they are dumb, that's why.  And because it gives them the opportunity to slap some exclusivity on their relationship.  They don't want to bang other people, they just want to bang each other (for now).  When they're done, they announce their break up or divorce and go on to bang someone else until they're bored again.  Celebrities that actually understand understand monogamy will never follow it, and this is why:


Their money and fame is a security blanket; even when they're old and wrinkly, they can still find someone to date, bang, or marry, because biologically speaking, money offers the guarantee that their lover and their offspring will be provided with the means to live a long and healthy life.  The more money, the better.

Right now she's pretending Hugh is Brad Pitt.

In the beginning, KK became famous because her dad helped a murderer go free, and now she is famous because her butt is larger-than-normal and she made a porno tape.  From there, they made a ridiculously scripted reality show that everyone hates but watches anyway, thereby gaining the resources to start sub-par perfume lines and a clothing store that is always empty.


Her whole family's life is nothing but event appearances and photoshoots.  Seriously, what is their purpose to the public?  To look pretty.  That's it.

Tonight let's count how many times we each say "like."

So when I hear about one of them getting married, the word "sham" automatically comes to mind.  I'm almost at the point where I believe 100% that no famous or rich person can actually fall in love because they are too narcissistic or the chances of finding someone genuinely interested in THEM and not their MONEY is slim to none.


There's nothing to really ask in this situation.  We all know why KK got married (money, her biological clock is ticking), and why she is pretending like the divorce is a hard decision (negative PR can end her career).


So what's the point of this post?


To simply point out how filthy and fake KK actually is.  I don't think everyone quite gets it yet, but they will when they realize she isn't marrying for love, she's marrying for her fanbase, popularity, and the money she receives from selling her nasty, cellulite-filled pictures that are always so artistically photoshopped.  We can't have people seeing her flaws, you know.  Because they don't exist amongst celebrities.

Honestly....

I don't know which one looks worse...

And besides, if she really did marry for love, is deciding on a place to live so big of a deal that it breaks up your union?  If anything, that should actually show the world how ridiculously shallow she is:  she doesn't want to move to Minnesota because her career is in LA.  In other words, she cares more about her job-which is what again??  oh, that's right, looking pretty in magazines-than her husband, who she married because she "loves him."




Hmmm.....