NetFix

Doesn't it seem like corporations are constantly finding bigger and better ways to upset their consumers?  I have a sneaky suspicion that the board members have daily meetings, probably over wine and cheese, and discuss the best possible method to make things overly complicated, unnecessary, and expensive.

Take Netflix for instance.

They had a good thing going for awhile there.  They had a great package-online streaming and DVD service for a low price.  But instead of embracing what was already working, they got greedy and decided to hike their prices by 60% AND split this divine service into two.

How does that make sense?  In what way does the CEO explain this move?

The future.  Its happening.

That's right-their explanation:  we're thinking about the future. 

Apparently the future means no more DVDs and only online streaming, which is all fine and dandy, except that the future hasn't happened yet.  That's because, um, well, its the future, and unless I'm mistaken, DVDs are still very much in use.

It's no surprise to me that consumers were infuriated, to say the least.  Its also quite funny to me that Netflix promptly lost 1 million customers.

You'd think they would learn, right?  

I think not.

I heard an interesting (and true) story about how the CEO thought up this name.  They played a game called "pin your finger on the alphabet eight times while you are blindfolded."

What's really interesting is that Netflix did yet another 180-degree turn by abandoning this ingenious idea of separating their services onto two different web sites.

Netflix is sticking by their future-loving ideas, however, and hiked prices.

But do you know what all this tells me?

More often than not, it seems that a corporation's success and a consumer's satisfaction are mutually exclusive. Netflix, just like any other big corporation, doesn't give a crap about consumer.   Yes, I understand that this a capitalist society and big companies are out to make a profit.  But that doesn't mean you dump on your customers, and right now, Netflix users are nothing but peeons.

What makes this story worse, is that Netflix obviously knows they messed up, and they are only fixing one bad thing.  Note how the one thing they fixed doesn't affect the price in any way.

Yet people are still subscribing.  What else can they do?  No matter how much Netflix flip-flops, there is no other service like it, so they're forced to stick with it.

I'm interested to see what they will do next to prepare for the future. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be splendidly original and refreshingly aggravating.

Good-Time Thursday

Every Thursday, I get pumped up to see one of the worst shows on television.  Its so bad its good.

Italian, but call us a derogatory name for short.

Do I know that I'm watching a group of alcoholic nymphomaniacs whose biggest complaint in life is that they couldn't get laid tonight because there wasn't enough gel in their hair?  


The answer to that question is yes, of course I know what I'm watching.


What you might think I'm going to say is that we watch this garbage to escape the monotony of our daily lives.  Most people don't want to come home and watch something mentally stimulating because they've been stressed out all day.  We all need a break, right?  A way to blow off steam and / or relax our brain muscles.  


Well maybe that's why you watch reality TV, but I have an entirely different reason.


I watch these gems-and really, that's the only proper name for them-because they prove me wrong, in so many ways, about human intelligence.


Its simply amazing to me.


To watch them act foolish, and tell the world all about their foolish thoughts and feelings, really pushes the limits of stupidity.  Humanity has come so far in countless areas-medicine, space exploration, the arts, yet here are people who probably can't read the newspaper.


I don't watch them to feel better about myself, or to live vicariously through their crazy shenanigans.  I say no thank you to STDs and cirrhosis.

I keep tuning in, every Thursday, to see how far they might go, or if they might slip up.  Maybe this time, just once, they will give themselves away and admit that everything is scripted.  After all, humans can't be that stupid, right?  RIGHT??

That wall is such a jerk!

I don't see these people as human beings, I see them as animals, and that is why I can laugh every week when I see them peeing in bars, having sex on the same bed as their roommates, farting nonchalantly, or leaving a toilet to fester for days on end.


If I thought of them otherwise, I might second guess the progress of all humankind.  If people like these exist, how the hell do we expect to go much further?  


I understand that not everyone wants to watch the Discovery Channel before bed, but entertainment doesn't have to be tacky and tasteless.  


My suggestion?  


Give me a show filled with extraordinary taste, unmatched humor, and lighthearted commentary on current events that everyone is thinking but no one wants to ever admit.

Bring back Beavis and Butthead.   

Done.

She Has It All

Let's just talk about one of the greatest albums of the year.  Maybe of this decade.  

Adele has really impressed me, and the rest of the world, with her refreshing vocals and songwriting.

Its not too often that you can say-and really mean-that a musician in this day and age has talent.  Most of the time when we admit that, we mean they know how to dance and shake their butts in front of a large crowd of teenyboppers.  Auto-tune does the rest.

What I love most about Adele is that she has a raw and very real talent, and live or not, she lets the whole world know.  When you can sound as good onstage as you can in the studio, you are meant to be a singer.

Another reason why this singer is so awesome-and getting more awesome by the minute-is she doesn't (so far) give a crap about body image.  The rest of Hollywood is literally dying (from anorexia) because they want to be skinny and beautiful, but not Adele (though she is still very beautiful):

This quote alone makes this woman my hero.


Aside from her amazing voice, she also writes the lyrics for her own songs!  They're not too fancy or trashy; no, you won't ever hear her talking about guns, sex, or clubs.  This just goes to show how an artist can be successful without selling out, without talking about trash to make a quick buck. 


Her lyrics are real, and that's why so many people can relate to and love her songs.  She doesn't talk about being famous, she talks about love and heartache, something everyone goes through.


In my opinion, however, her biggest achievement is the way in which she got her golden ticket.  

We need members!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, her way to fame was paved by Myspace.  This web site, as you know, is dwindling in numbers and popularity.  Its now mostly occupied by-well, no one, since everyone has already moved onto the ever-growing Facebook.


Why is this is so amazing, you ask?


Because Myspace is dying, and everyone knows it.  Yeah, she was noticed on it a few years ago when it wasn't quite six feet underground, but Facebook was on fire from the moment it went online.  


So that, my friends, is why I respect her the most.  Because she used Myspace as a tool to become the greatest singer in the world.  


My next prediction:  she will lose fifty pounds and say she did it to become healthy, not because she was worried about body image.


They all do that.  Every celebrity says they don't give a sh*t if the media thinks they put on a few pounds, but then a week later, they aren't fat anymore.  


But diabetes isn't funny, and neither is crying your eyes out every night because the National Enquirer is putting your cellulite on blast every Saturday.


Just sayin. 

I P.Diddied.

Whenever I do anything stupid or more jerk-like than normal, I'm going to start saying "I P. Diddied."  


Everything this guy does stems from his grossly overvalued self-importance, and to be honest, he was never that good at anything.  He's a black man who can't dance, can barely rap, and doesn't make music anymore.  The only positive-he was friends with one of the greatest music artists of all time.  I won't even talk about his failed reality show that created a handful of sub-par hip-hop groups (who, by the way, are where now?). 


Yet for some reason, he still thinks he's entitled...to everything.  It's not surprising to me, though, that no one has broken the news to him.  No one has said, hey friend, your name sounds like the accident my child had in his bed last night, or maybe you should take a break from being famous because you aren't too good at it.


So why is he still famous?  Why are people still clinging to him like he is some kind of...music star?


Because he's an a**hole with money, but mostly because he has money.

Yo, I just took a dump on your windshield.

When  you have lots of money, no one really cares if you are a good person.  They only care if you are paying them or giving them free gifts.  So I expect to see P.Diddy surrounded by an entourage of a few dozen burly men or tramped up women.

The fact that he recently threw ice at another man for drinking a Vodka that he doesn't endorse just confirms (once again) how big of a D-bag he is.  No mature person would ever do that to another adult, especially in the middle of a crowded club where I'm sure everyone was on their way to being drunk.  You can bet that if it was just a random guy throwing ice at someone else, they would get punched in the face (at the very least).

And he says sorry.  

Sorry, I threw ice at you.  I'd believe him if he didn't do that kind of thing ALL THE TIME.

I just have a tidbit of advice--

Don't P.Diddy me and I won't P.Diddy you.

Apes!

The only thing that could make me happier than watching a movie about monkeys is watching a movie about talking apes.


Planet of the Apes is definitely my favorite movie of the summer.


I don't even know where to begin with this blockbusting gem.


Perhaps I'll start with my irritation at the cruel treatment of animals, and for the sake of brevity, I will just talk about abuse at labs.  Obviously this is exactly what the director wanted us to see, and its a problem that will never get old until its solved.  


Now obviously no one thinks its okay to torture cute little bunnies and monkeys for the sake of scientific testing, but it has to be done nonetheless.  We can't use people, after all.  We are animals, by the way, just a superior type of animal.  So what's our next best option?  Animals that can't talk.  


It breaks my heart to see or hear about animals suffering, but if you think about it, how much medicine WOULDN'T we have without animal testing?  Isn't that what scientists do?  Inject little bunnies and monkeys with serums and vaccines so that people can get better?  


So what's worse-eliminate all animal testing, and subsequently, tons of medicines that could potentially cure various diseases and illnesses, or do we keep on torturing those precious little bunnies so little Johnny won't die from the flu?

GOO!  Maybe we SHOULD forget about animal testing.  Look what the meds did to Tiny Tim.

We root for the mistreated in this movie, but what if the humans were the ones being caged?  Its not just a matter of treating animals better, but each other, our possessions, our planet.


I don't think this movie is an Oscar winner.  The story could have been more compelling.  Basically a dude's pet grows brains and gets tired of getting crazy drugs injected into his body.


It lacked umph, the spark that makes films truly great.  


But overall, I liked it a lot, and I will definitely be adding it to my already large movie collection.  

Kids Rule, Adults Drool

You know what's hilarious?  How a movie called Dolphin Tale is currently number one in the box office.

Its about a dolphin who loses his tail to a crab trap and then receives a prosthetic one from a doctor.

I'm sure its a wonderful movie, but what more could they possibly say after he gets his spanking new tail?  Shouldn't that be the end of the movie?   Hooray, he lives happily ever after!  But wait, there's more!

Now we just have to think of a way to make this movie longer.  About 80 minutes longer.

I'm sure its a wonderful movie, and I would love to see it, but not for $10.  With the way movie prices are now, its only logical to carefully choose the movie you want to see based on critics' reviews and your own judgment of its epicness.  Everything else can wait until DVD or RedBox.

Final thoughts:

Isn't it quite funny  how some of the best movies target child audiences?  Dolphin Tale, Lion King, and okay, there aren't many kid movies out right now, but think about your average adult film versus something of Lion King or Toy Story's caliber.  There is simply no comparison, and I don't mean because the target audiences are so far apart in age, but I mean this because children's movies are always better.

ALWAYS!

Yes, I know, there are always exceptions.  A few adult films will beat Lion King's epicness.  BUT-only a few.  Just think about how many crap films are released every week (Drive Angry, Abducted, Dream House), and then think about anytime a children's movie is released.  The reviews are always positive, and they always create a huge fan following.  This isn't because children are easily entertained by bright colors and shiny objects, but because creators actually took the time to develop an interesting plot and characters.

I don't think I'm alone when I say that I'm tired of seeing an overkill of action, sex, and violence.

Just because you can make a movie R rated, doesn't mean you should.  An R rating doesn't equal a four star, Oscar-winning blockbuster.

In conclusion, maybe these jaded adults need to get in touch with their inner child and make a movie worth watching.  Just because crappy movies make tons of money opening weekend doesn't mean they're good; it's called a lack of options.  

You don't see Simba acting a fool when he comes back to the pride land, do you?  

Hate Crime

The following crime is so RIDICULOUS that I don't even know where to begin.


In a nutshell-a group of young, white men in the south were sitting around at a party, drinking, and decided that it would be a good idea to "go f*ck with some n*ggers." They promptly found a black man in a random parking lot, beat him, and then ran him over with a giant pickup truck.


The ringleader of this outdated crime is pleading not guilty to capital murder.


Um, I don't know if you know this, but everything was caught on camera.


So, my question is, and I really am quite confused about this whole thing, how the hell does this kid expect a jury to find him not guilty when there is video evidence of him beating and running a man over?

I'm white.  Free me.

The fact that he thinks he is not guilty clearly shows the world how deluded he really is.  Can you imagine the type of upbringing this poor soul had?  The type in which his family told him how men of a different skin color are worth less than nothing, so if you beat and kill one, don't worry, because its quite all right.  No one will miss them.  

The real question is not whether this kid is guilty, but if we should feel sorry for him.  Is he incorrigible?  If we let him out of prison, will he run around the south, killing men because they're black (again)?

Or, if we give him another chance, will he actually learn that what he did was wrong?  

                                 

Are the things we learned during childhood so ingrained and irreversible that everything we absorbed will stay with us forever?  

Do people change?

We don't like anything brown.  Chocolate is next.

My final opinion is this--

This idiot was obviously not drunk enough to claim he didn't know what he was doing (as he drove a freaking truck, searched for and found a man to victimize).  

Next-regardless of his upbringing, he still committed a crime.  Send his a** to prison.

Finally-given his young age, don't send him to prison for the rest of his life.  It's not his fault that he was taught to demean and literally kill other people.  That way of thinking was not his choice.  Not at first.

He's going to have a LOT of time to think about what he's done while he is in prison.  After about a decade, evaluate his progress, and then either give him probation or leave him to rot in the hell hole he crawled into. 

The sad part is, there are plenty of other men like him in prison, willing to take him under their wing and reinforce their racist, extremist thinking.  Therefore, the chance of his rehabilitation is slim to none...

From the minute he was born, this kid had no chance.

So maybe you don't feel sorry for him, but I do.