Crazy 'Rents

There seems to be an ongoing trend with parents binding their children and then posting the pictures online.  There are so many things wrong with this that I don't know where to begin, but I guess I will start with the two most famous instances of these model parents...


The first is a man from Chicago who decided it was a good idea to tie his child up because she allegedly hit him back when he punished her for something...

Yeah, this is really going to stop your kid from hitting you in the future.

First of all, seeing this picture is disgusting.


Secondly, this guy must've dropped out of high school to be this dumb.  Tying your child up is not only really weird anyway, but what makes him think that a bunch of strangers or people he half-knows on facebook are really going to think this is funny?  Did he think the police would be entertained?  Sure were when they hauled him off to jail, weren't they?


Now I doubt that he was really going to torture his little girl, because if he was, he wouldn't be posting pictures of it online.  Seeing as how he lacks any form of common sense, I just don't know whether to pity him, or pray for him.  Actually, on second thought, forget that.  This fool is a grown man, and as such, should have a pretty good understanding of right versus wrong.  I'd be more comfortable knowing that CPS has taken his offspring away so he can't permanently damage them.  




Next on the list of 2011's best parents is a lovely pair from Arizona.  They also thought it would be funny to tie up their kid.  At least the first guy put a reason down on facebook, even if it was a lame one.  But these gems in the West just thought it was funny.  That's it.  

Don't they look like a funny pair?

Do these look like the type to play jokes?  Uhh, I think not.


At this point I'm wondering where the line of stupidity started.  So we have two couples, completely unrelated, and both tied up their children and shared the picture with the rest of the world. 


Now, did their parents teach them to tie things up?  Were they tied up?  Is their lack of common sense a link in a long chain that started centuries ago from their equally dumb ancestors?  


Or is society playing a role in their disgusting behavior?  Does the media somehow give them the idea to tie people up and blast it on a social networking site?  After all, our attitude towards violence has become jaded, to say the least, and our sense of humor has become more and more crude over the years as people realize they have a right to say whatever they want.


Maybe it's the dumb gene AND the media.


It makes me wonder what Darwin would say about natural selection in this case; they won't really die off because they are idiots, but instead they'll be shoved in a prison that will eventually release them because of overcrowding.  


Mon Dieu, have we gone beyond natural selection?!  If so, how long will the weak and dumb continue to plague our planet?!

God...

help....

us...

all...(Come on ladies, these two aren't even attractive)

Dragon Tattoo

Hey everyone, the Swedes made a movie that's really good!  I don't can't-er, I mean-I don't want to read the subtitles, so let's go ahead and remake that two years from now.

2011

2009

Okay, I have to admit it-the American remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is good.  But the sad part is, no movie should have to be victim to the audience incessantly comparing it to its predecessor.  


"The original didn't do it that way..."
"The new one changed the story..."
"The other actress didn't look like that..."


Of course this is going to happen when its decided that the remake should be released TWO YEARS after the original.  I'm assuming the directors thought no one in America watches foreign films...


BUT I DO!


It's obviously a matter of opinion, and since both movies are so close to each other in profit and positive reviews, I'm going to have to hand the win over to the orinal director.  They were first in making the film, BUT I have more reasons.


The main character in the original, Lisbeth, is ten times more of a badass than the new Lisbeth.  I don't want to see a wimpy victim cowering before anyone she comes across, I want to see a defiant, strong woman face her attackers with courage.  Also, it was slightly upsetting that the new dragon tat girl wore her hair up once.  The rest of the time it looked greasy, unwashed, unkempt.  I mean, come on, if you're going to be all those things, at least style it a little bit.  


Not only that, the new movie decided to cut all the connections that the original developed.  Characters that were completely unrelated in the newer Dragon Tattoo movie are actually more deeply connected than you know in the original.  Was this the director's way of making it "different"?  Bad call.  


Those are some of my complaints.  I still think both movies are good, but Noomi Rapace undoubtedly rocks a mohawk better than Rooney...

Rebel to the left, introverted wuss to the right.

We All Knew it was Coming

Surprise, surprise.  Another divorce in Hollywood.


This one was slightly-but just a touch-more interesting than the others, and for two reasons.


One-they spent Christmas apart.  Maybe that's not such a big deal for some people, or busy celebrities, but they were at opposite ends of the world without their wedding rings.  

So what's the big deal?  Plenty of people forget to wear it, right?  Except that he filed for divorce the next day.  

But the main reason this interests me is that they both denied the divorce rumors, and never acknowledged any problem with their relationship.  

Tell me, Russell, Katy, what's the point?  Everyone in the world is going to find out anyway, so why hide it?  To save your privacy?  Uhh....you're celebrities.  Once you become famous, you can never become "un-famous."

And now I'm going to say what everyone else has been thinking: 

How the HELL did Russell Brand end up with Katy Perry in the first place?  

Let's face it...no amount of funny will take the ugly away.

Pretty as long as the spray tan and make-up stays on.

It's not like he had money, and she didn't.  So how did they end up together?  Maybe they did some drugs together.  We all know he was big on cocaine, and probably still is by the looks of it.  Maybe Katy Perry probably joined in and it wore off after a few months.  I mean, fireworks shooting out of your chest?  Hmmmm...

In the end, no one really cares that they're divorced.  We pay attention because its fun to watch "perfect" people fail at something that the rest of us normies can accomplish.  

And as you're reading this, we continue to soak it in...

Yessss....   

Privacy? There's No Privacy in Hollywood!

I think its quite hilarious that the Kardashians are clamoring for privacy during Kim's "difficult time."


When your success is based solely on reality shows, promoting clubs, party events, and magazines, how can you POSSIBLY ask to be left alone?!  The answer is obvious:  you can't. These people gave up their privacy a long time ago, and there is no way they can ever get it back.  Once you let the public in, they're in for GOOD.  As Daniel Craig said...

"We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta and now you want some privacy?"

Well said, Mr. Bond.

In addition, let's think about the following:

In order to pave their way to fame, the Kardashian family decided to start a reality show, and in so doing, made their entire life public.  I know I'm reiterating, but stay with me for 1.5 more seconds.

In having their life broadcasted to the entire world, they obviously had no qualms about sharing the details of their personal lives.  This includes, but isn't limited to, who the gypsies are dating, their relationship problems, and new prospects.

That being said, if they didn't have a problem divulging all the secrets of their oh-so interesting relationships BEFORE, why is it a problem now?

Is it, I don't know, because they're trying to hide something?  Like their own idiocy?

I was defrauded!  (Uh, duh, you're literally the last person to figure that one out, friend)

The whole world KNEW their entire LIFE is a sham.  Everything is scripted and planned ahead of time; I bet the oldest gypsy even planned that first pregnancy.  But now we have PROOF from an outsider.  Here's a guy who actually fell in love with the big-butt and got conned into marrying her.  Now they're embarrassed because they got caught snagging him into a ridiculous ceremony that was probably staged from day one, and when they soaked up as much money as they could from televising it, cut him loose.  

And while we're on the subject of being conned, please take a gander at this photo gem:

Which of these things is not like the other...

Enough said.

Good luck with having any further success, idiots.  Your big-butted sister just ruined all of your careers by divorcing a good-looking, good-hearted person after a couple months. 

I'm going to end this piece with a quote from the all-knowing Joe:

"I think the Kardashians should just go away."

Disappointment.

There's another scandal I'd like to mention, and unlike the other headliners, this one actually SURPRISED me. But not for the reason you might think...


This whole time, I thought Justin Bieber was a girl, so when I saw a woman with a child demanding a paternity test from him, I was shocked.  SHOCKED!


And this whole time I thought they just kept misspelling Justine!

It's not lipstick, it's CHAPSTICK.

Anyway-


When I first heard about Justin's baby scandal, I immediately thought that the kid was his.  Why else would the woman ask for a paternity test?  You never hear about them wanting the test; they usually want child support and a few paparazzi sessions, but this lady wants SCIENTIFIC PROOF!


So I thought for sure she wasn't lying.  But oh, how things changed.


Justin actually agreed to take it!  That threw my entire game off.


Now her and the moronic lawyers representing her are flying low under the radar, probably to escape embarrassment.  There's clearly no other explanation.

Plenty of embarrassment escaped here.

To sum it all up, Justin(e) and Yeater (sounds like an infection, doesn't it?) should've teamed up and gone on Maury.  Not only would they have boosted the ratings for him, but I'm sure they would've made a crapload of money.  Not that Beaver doesn't already.


Final thoughts:


Both parties have truly disappointed me.  Biebhead had me thinking he was a teenage daddy, and I was expecting a promising break-up from his witchy girlfriend (Wizards of Waverly Place, and yes, I do love that show).  On the other hand, I was in Yeater's corner this whole time, only to be let down by her lack of performance.  Come on, lady!  No one will remember you in a year, but we sure as hell would if your baby was his. 




What do I have to look forward to NOW?  A scripted divorce from big-butt KK and her weirdo ex-husband? 

I'm already bored.

God help us all. 

Breaking News?

It's been awhile, and I have a lot to say.


I think I'll start with the hottest topic in the entertainment world right now, and that is Kim Kardashian's ill-fated marriage.

I'm going to love you for 72 whole days.

First of all, it's pretty obvious that no one is surprised.  Every celebrity out there will eventually separate from their spouse / significant other.  For them, marriage doesn't mean "forever," it means "until I get bored or we get into a fight."  Why then, you ask, do they get married at all?  Because they are dumb, that's why.  And because it gives them the opportunity to slap some exclusivity on their relationship.  They don't want to bang other people, they just want to bang each other (for now).  When they're done, they announce their break up or divorce and go on to bang someone else until they're bored again.  Celebrities that actually understand understand monogamy will never follow it, and this is why:


Their money and fame is a security blanket; even when they're old and wrinkly, they can still find someone to date, bang, or marry, because biologically speaking, money offers the guarantee that their lover and their offspring will be provided with the means to live a long and healthy life.  The more money, the better.

Right now she's pretending Hugh is Brad Pitt.

In the beginning, KK became famous because her dad helped a murderer go free, and now she is famous because her butt is larger-than-normal and she made a porno tape.  From there, they made a ridiculously scripted reality show that everyone hates but watches anyway, thereby gaining the resources to start sub-par perfume lines and a clothing store that is always empty.


Her whole family's life is nothing but event appearances and photoshoots.  Seriously, what is their purpose to the public?  To look pretty.  That's it.

Tonight let's count how many times we each say "like."

So when I hear about one of them getting married, the word "sham" automatically comes to mind.  I'm almost at the point where I believe 100% that no famous or rich person can actually fall in love because they are too narcissistic or the chances of finding someone genuinely interested in THEM and not their MONEY is slim to none.


There's nothing to really ask in this situation.  We all know why KK got married (money, her biological clock is ticking), and why she is pretending like the divorce is a hard decision (negative PR can end her career).


So what's the point of this post?


To simply point out how filthy and fake KK actually is.  I don't think everyone quite gets it yet, but they will when they realize she isn't marrying for love, she's marrying for her fanbase, popularity, and the money she receives from selling her nasty, cellulite-filled pictures that are always so artistically photoshopped.  We can't have people seeing her flaws, you know.  Because they don't exist amongst celebrities.

Honestly....

I don't know which one looks worse...

And besides, if she really did marry for love, is deciding on a place to live so big of a deal that it breaks up your union?  If anything, that should actually show the world how ridiculously shallow she is:  she doesn't want to move to Minnesota because her career is in LA.  In other words, she cares more about her job-which is what again??  oh, that's right, looking pretty in magazines-than her husband, who she married because she "loves him."




Hmmm.....

Real Iron

Over the weekend I saw a quite enjoyable movie called Real Steal, or as Papa Montoya would say, Real Iron.


I would recommend this movie to anyone ten and under, and for any adult who isn't ashamed to watch pleasant family films.


Remember Rocky?  

Duhhh-Adrian!

Well there's a new champ in town, and his name is Atom.

...............

If you want a family version of Rocky, then go see Real Steel.  Its not like Rocky was too adult for children, but it was probably too complicated for their tiny little brains to understand.  I doubt a ten year old can comprehend the depths of Rocky's relationship with his woman and her family, or his rise to the top of the boxing game.  That and they probably wouldn't be entertained by all the talking.  Kids want action and shiny things all over the screen, otherwise they lose interest and start eating popcorn off the floor.  

That's where Atom comes in.

The only criticism I have for this movie is the excess of family issues.  I get it, you abandoned your son and now he is mad at you and you are going to try to make it right by the end of the 90 minutes.  But it was too much.  I wanted more Atom and less Hugh Jackman and his kid crying because they are so unhappy about their broken family.

 

Also, I was deeply disappointed that Atom didn't develop a mind of his own.  They kept hinting at it, but in the end, he was still the same old robot just imitating movement.  

So if you're in the mood for a feel good movie, I highly recommend this one.  Just don't pay for the ticket and expect to see an Oscar-winner.  But they can't all be winners, can they?

Held Captive

Recently in Philadelphia, a group of people were suspected of holding mentally disabled people captive in their basement.


First of all, the people who were arrested look mentally disabled themselves...

We were so careful.  How did it all go wrong?

Next, in case you're unfamiliar with this story, they decided it would be a good idea to not only hold the mentally disabled people captive, but to steal their Social Security checks as well.

I mean, I know its running out and all, but couldn't they have waited a few years to collect their own?


Additionally, who the hell sits around with their friends and says, "Hey, let's go hunt for some mentally disabled people and steal their money."  


Do you ever think about how that becomes a hot topic in a person's conversation? 


Also, why are people so lazy?  Instead of having these mentally disabled people living in their basement, they could have used the same amount of time and energy to find a job.


In fact, wouldn't it be more difficult to hide people in your basement than to actually work?  You'd have to worry about anyone peeking in, or the noises they might make to get attention, and worst of all-the checks you are stealing wouldn't be substantial, anyway.  


Think about that versus having a job at McDonalds, which is perfectly legal, and collecting a paycheck every other week.  And with two other roommates, combined monies would be enough to make a living.


I say shame on these people for not thinking it through.  You're supposed to steal from the rich, not the poor.  

Oy, haven't these gits ever seen Robin Hood?  

HOUSE

There are a few things that upset me about the new season of House.


First of all, Mr. Laurie has a horrible haircut, and is also balding. No one wants to fantasize about a man losing his hair.

'Hallo, there, don't look at my hair!

He used to be hot, you know, during seasons 1-last.  I'm willing to look past his aging, because we all know looks can't last forever, but mostly I am willing to compromise because his character is so awesome.

Next, I am quite upset because no one from last season is on the show anymore.  Should I count Foreman?  No.  Should I count Wilson?  Eh.  

Foreman is the douchiest douche I've ever had the misery to watch on television, so I am really mad that they chose him to stay over the other characters now MIA.

Wilson is a wimp.  I don't like watching people with no backbone.  Its called having a weakness, not possessing a likable quality.  I have to admit, though, I did feel some satisfaction when he punched House in the face.  That was quite uncharacteristic of him.

The one character I do like (besides House, of course) is his new sidekick. What's her name?  I don't know.  All I know is that she has the balls to speak her mind, and usually, she is right on point.  She may seem like the timid girl next door, but anyone who can punch a guy for sexually assaulting her automatically wins 500 brownie points in my book.

I'm a little curious to see where this season will go.  I don't know how I feel about it not being the same old House-person is sick, House has an epiphany, person lives 99.9% of the time.  

My final thought-I don't know.  I will have to form an opinion three episodes from now, when things will hopefully level out.

Yeezy fo Sheezy

We all know Kanye is the epitome of d-bag.  He is selfish, narcissistic, conceited, really short (extreme turn-off), and he wears women's clothing.

And it ain't the only piece of women's clothing I wear.  

I'm sure we could come up with about ten thousand more synonyms for how much of an a**hole this guy is, or how weird he acts, but at this point I think its fairly obvious to everyone.


People seem to forget, however, that Kanye West is a musician.  His goal is not to make people love HIM, although it would be highly beneficial for his career, but to love his MUSIC.


Yeah, he thought he was a robot for awhile. And yes, he did do the unthinkable and interrupt someone's acceptance speech.

I'm just saying what you're thinking.  (It's true, he was).

Its really no one's fault but his own, and sadly, all of his ridiculous antics have blinded people to the quality of his music.


I can understand how an image can influence the number of record sales, but if that musician is actually talented, it shouldn't matter much.  Why should you care about what kind of person they are if their music is good?  Do people really-REALLY-sit and think, "well by golly this song is catchy but I'm not going to let myself like it because the singer drinks too much and interrupts acceptance speeches?"


This is why I don't like where the music industry is going right now.  People care more about an image than what is actually coming out of the speakers.  It can be a crappy song, but if you wear enough glitter, it'll hit the top of the charts.

Glitter on the weekend, war paint during the week.

See what I mean?  Yet people actually like this ridiculous excuse for a music artist more than they like Kanye West.  I still don't understand how someone who can't sing becomes famous for it.




Let's switch back to Kanye.  With the exception of 808s and Heartbreak, every album he's made has turned to gold.


The College Dropout, his breakthrough album, was nominated for a couple Grammys.  Jesus Walks anyone?  Through the Wire?  Everyone loved this album for its fresh reminders of the social problems we face, and for its sarcastic yet honest humor.To combine those elements into a catchy album is a feat unto itself.  In short, go Kanye!


Late Registration was even better.  It was like he took College Dropout and injected it with steroids.  More money did not equal more problems for this album.


Graduation was a departure from his first two babies.  It was a little more poppy, but it was feel-good music.  You could work out at the gym or drive around town listening to Stronger or Can't Tell Me Nothing and feel like you could take on the world.


There was a problem with this one, though, and its called the "big headed disease."  Too much success gave him a big freaking dome, and this is where his idiocy began.


I don't know why this was cool to him, but he started to consider himself a robot.  Yes, he really did.  That's when 808s & Heartbreak came out.  It was an insult to music everywhere.  Everyone either laughed at its ridiculously Autotuned lineup, or they cried in disgust.  


I have to admit-for awhile there, I started to lose faith in Kanye.  How can you go from one of the best albums of the year to being a robot?

Awesome, original.  2005.

Kanye, those don't work in the sun.  And your mouth is open.  2009.

The next year is when the ill-fated VMas incident occurred, after which Yeezy promptly set himself on hiatus.  

Now everyone else was having their doubts, saying he was a jerk and never wanting to play his music on the radio.  Even now he barely gets any airtime.

But I knew he was coming back, after the 808 shenanigans and the VMA outburst, he was going to make another album and it would be glorious.  Then, it happened-

My Beautiful Dark and Twisted Fantasy.

This is easily the best hip-hop album of the year.  There are only two songs that haven't been released as singles yet, and that's probably only because they haven't gotten around to it yet.

Just to come full circle-it doesn't matter how much of a jerk a person is, if they make good music, that's all that should matter.  So I say let's forget about his character, ignore his outlandish behavior, sit back and listen to some awesome tunes.  

Otherwise, you are going to remain forever butt-hurt over anything that comes out of his mouth.  

I never said people change, just that we should ignore them if they suck. 

About My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.  

Drive.

Let's talk about my favorite movie of the year-hands down.


Drive had all the basic elements a movie needs in order to entertain a human being, but oddly enough, there are too few of these elements in most movies.  You know, the necessary components that make the movie worth the $20 you pay to see it:


A plot (you'd be surprised at how many current films lack this).
Good actors (not to name anyone specific but-*cough Kristen Stewart cough*-sorry, where were we?)
Unpredictability (no one wants to know the end after the first five minutes)
Cinematography (bad directing can ruin the best script in the world)
Music (we shouldn't be listening to Mexican polka during a car chase)




What made me so happy about Drive was how all of these elements came together.  The neo noir film, as most movie critics are calling it, was so well developed that it made me almost forget that bad movies exist. 

Take Drive's love story, for instance.  What made it so compelling for me was the tension created between two people who conveyed their feelings using only their body language.  That's right, people.  Driver has less than twenty lines in this movie.  How can you complain about a man who barely speaks?

And he doesn't speak right on through the darker side of LA with a cool and controlled demeanor-something I hear is similar to a little known actor called James Dean.  

I should voice a warning, however:  this movie is not for the faint of heart, so if you don't like gore, beware.  

But if you have a higher appreciation for the artistic side of directing, and you don't mind long, drawn out and tension-building silences, then this is the movie for you.  Not many actors (or people) can have a conversation or express emotion without saying anything, but Ryan did it.  

Right now he is saying "kiss me."

I don't want to give too much away, because I'd rather have everyone see it and take in all the glory that is Ryan Gosling post-Notebook.

I drive.  And smolder.

I've forgiven him for that blasphemous piece of Nicholas Spark's crap, and its all because of Drive.  

Seaweed as Clothing? Not Cute.

Let's talk about Rihanna for one second, and let's also remind ourselves that she is most indubitably NOT the sexiest woman alive.  


The picture they use to illustrate her ultimate sex appeal is in fact proof that she doesn't have any.


Take a gander.

I just got a lobotomy.

I feel sorry for anyone who actually thinks this is a sexy picture.  Why?  Because that means you like dirty women who swim around seaweed and don't care if it sticks to them for a photoshoot. Who knows what is on that seaweed, how long its been on her body, or who else touched it.  Its not even cute Adam and Eve-like foilage.  It just looks like she rolled around in dirt and didn't care what stuck to her.  Luckily it was just washed-up seaweed instead of used needles or rusty nails.


I am glad, though, that she decided to cover up that five-head.  The size of that dome is self explanatory.

I had to make the image small so it wouldn't scare your children or turn them to stone.

Shame on you, Esquire.  I say the next time this magazine decides to get artsy, do it with flowers and sparkles instead of filthy sea grass.

NetFix

Doesn't it seem like corporations are constantly finding bigger and better ways to upset their consumers?  I have a sneaky suspicion that the board members have daily meetings, probably over wine and cheese, and discuss the best possible method to make things overly complicated, unnecessary, and expensive.

Take Netflix for instance.

They had a good thing going for awhile there.  They had a great package-online streaming and DVD service for a low price.  But instead of embracing what was already working, they got greedy and decided to hike their prices by 60% AND split this divine service into two.

How does that make sense?  In what way does the CEO explain this move?

The future.  Its happening.

That's right-their explanation:  we're thinking about the future. 

Apparently the future means no more DVDs and only online streaming, which is all fine and dandy, except that the future hasn't happened yet.  That's because, um, well, its the future, and unless I'm mistaken, DVDs are still very much in use.

It's no surprise to me that consumers were infuriated, to say the least.  Its also quite funny to me that Netflix promptly lost 1 million customers.

You'd think they would learn, right?  

I think not.

I heard an interesting (and true) story about how the CEO thought up this name.  They played a game called "pin your finger on the alphabet eight times while you are blindfolded."

What's really interesting is that Netflix did yet another 180-degree turn by abandoning this ingenious idea of separating their services onto two different web sites.

Netflix is sticking by their future-loving ideas, however, and hiked prices.

But do you know what all this tells me?

More often than not, it seems that a corporation's success and a consumer's satisfaction are mutually exclusive. Netflix, just like any other big corporation, doesn't give a crap about consumer.   Yes, I understand that this a capitalist society and big companies are out to make a profit.  But that doesn't mean you dump on your customers, and right now, Netflix users are nothing but peeons.

What makes this story worse, is that Netflix obviously knows they messed up, and they are only fixing one bad thing.  Note how the one thing they fixed doesn't affect the price in any way.

Yet people are still subscribing.  What else can they do?  No matter how much Netflix flip-flops, there is no other service like it, so they're forced to stick with it.

I'm interested to see what they will do next to prepare for the future. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be splendidly original and refreshingly aggravating.

Good-Time Thursday

Every Thursday, I get pumped up to see one of the worst shows on television.  Its so bad its good.

Italian, but call us a derogatory name for short.

Do I know that I'm watching a group of alcoholic nymphomaniacs whose biggest complaint in life is that they couldn't get laid tonight because there wasn't enough gel in their hair?  


The answer to that question is yes, of course I know what I'm watching.


What you might think I'm going to say is that we watch this garbage to escape the monotony of our daily lives.  Most people don't want to come home and watch something mentally stimulating because they've been stressed out all day.  We all need a break, right?  A way to blow off steam and / or relax our brain muscles.  


Well maybe that's why you watch reality TV, but I have an entirely different reason.


I watch these gems-and really, that's the only proper name for them-because they prove me wrong, in so many ways, about human intelligence.


Its simply amazing to me.


To watch them act foolish, and tell the world all about their foolish thoughts and feelings, really pushes the limits of stupidity.  Humanity has come so far in countless areas-medicine, space exploration, the arts, yet here are people who probably can't read the newspaper.


I don't watch them to feel better about myself, or to live vicariously through their crazy shenanigans.  I say no thank you to STDs and cirrhosis.

I keep tuning in, every Thursday, to see how far they might go, or if they might slip up.  Maybe this time, just once, they will give themselves away and admit that everything is scripted.  After all, humans can't be that stupid, right?  RIGHT??

That wall is such a jerk!

I don't see these people as human beings, I see them as animals, and that is why I can laugh every week when I see them peeing in bars, having sex on the same bed as their roommates, farting nonchalantly, or leaving a toilet to fester for days on end.


If I thought of them otherwise, I might second guess the progress of all humankind.  If people like these exist, how the hell do we expect to go much further?  


I understand that not everyone wants to watch the Discovery Channel before bed, but entertainment doesn't have to be tacky and tasteless.  


My suggestion?  


Give me a show filled with extraordinary taste, unmatched humor, and lighthearted commentary on current events that everyone is thinking but no one wants to ever admit.

Bring back Beavis and Butthead.   

Done.